The release of Cowboys & Aliens reminds all of us why we go to movies, for entertainment. Cowboys & Aliens raked in over $36 million in its opening weekend alone. It was well deserved, as the movie was incredibly entertaining because it was like watching James Bond (Daniel Craig) and Indiana Jones (Harrison) take a cowboy vacation. It was so entertaining, I’d hazard that same tactic would have made a few other famous films even more crowd pleasing. I’d love to see James Bond drop into a few movies just to spice them up a bit.
Bond joins Cobb’s ragtag bunch of dream criminals to assist in the group’s inception attempt. Despite his best efforts, Bond is unable to bed Ariadne, but he does manage to keep his suit perfectly crisp. In each level Bond easily defends the group from attacks of Fischer’s subconscious. Because of their wealth of time, they decide to take a vacation in Fischer’s mind. After completing inception, Bond is given a position in Fischer industries’ intelligence division.
The King’s Speech
Bond doesn’t need to travel far to meet with King George in London. Under Bond’s guidance, George not only cures of his speech impediment, but endeavors to talk down the Germans. When unsuccessful, Bond and the King (a potential Buddy cop spinoff) take matters into their own hands and venture into occupied territory to rescue a number of POW’s. This was actually the original script for the great escape; however it was rejected by Steve McQueen.
Lord of the Rings
Bond takes a scenic training mission to Middle Earth where he becomes embroiled in the epic struggle between good and evil. Bond instructs Aragon on the proper usage of firearms and the battle of Helm’s Deep becomes merely a skirmish ended by the explosion of a perfectly placed barrel. Bond leads Frodo and Sam to Mordor and the adventure culminates with epic hand to hand combat with Gollum. Gollum survives and plots to get his revenge on Bond, channeling a bit of Ernst Blofeld.
Could you imagine a better pair to help get women? Bond is suave, yet gritty, while Hitch offers more practical and moral solutions. If those two couldn’t help Kevin James, no one could. The only turmoil added to the movie is when Eva Mendes opts for Kevin James due to Bond’s expert advice. Hitch objects, but doesn’t want challenge the MI6 operative.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Indiana Jones’ long lost friend James Bond stops by to meet Indiana (Ford again) and Henry Sr. in Austria. Ford and Craig play well of each other with a sibling rivalry type of relationship. Jones and Co. escape after Bond seduces Elsa into returning his keys. The group escapes on Q-Branch specialized motorcycles and race to the desert to find the Holy Grail. Finally James is able to retrieve the grail and takes advantage of its abilities. This explains how he’s lasted through so many missions and defeated so many different enemies with little more than a scratch.